The Case of the Missing Mobile
by Rainie Skyes
Summary: John's mobile has gone missing. Or has it? Just a funny little one off. No Johnlock, just friendship.


**The Case of the Missing Mobile**

Sherlock was bored.

Nothing of interest in the news. Nothing on the Website.

The website. Why did he even bother? He couldn't understand why people would rather read about the cases in John's Blog, than to delve into the scientific stratagems employed to solve these same cases.

Irritating. Normal people. So annoying. The more he thought about it, his annoyance became focused on John.

John was in the kitchen thinking about tea as he moved a dish of what looked like coffee grounds, but smelled of fish, from the table over to the counter. As he did, he idly wondered what it actually was in the dish and decided he probably didn't want to know. He could hear Sherlock slamming drawers and muttering to himself in the next room.

"Oh, lovely, it's going to be one of those days," he sighed as he opened the refrigerator.

"Sherlock, we seem to be out of milk again. Where does it go? I just picked some up yesterday."

"Bellowing is not necessary, John. I'm right here."

John jumped at the sound of Sherlock's voice right next to his ear. God, he wished he would stop doing that. "Yeah, well, I thought you were in the other room. Sorry."

"Clearly, I am not. Making tea then, John?"

John watched Sherlock casually do a turn around the table. A little too casually. John's eyes narrowed. "I was. Until I noticed the lack of milk."

"Oh dear, that is too bad. Perhaps you should just pop on down the to market and pick some up." Sherlock smiled brightly at John. "Could you pick up the dry cleaning also, while you are out?"

"Fine. Be happy to. Can I get you anything else while I'm out? Side of beef...some drain unclogger...socks...Anything?" The sarcasm seemed not to be getting through, so John just pressed his lips together and straightened his shoulders in determination not to get angry at Sherlock. He was after all just Sherlock being Sherlock. "Right then. I'm off. Back in a bit."

He stopped, feeling around in pocket. "Now where did my mobile get to? It's not in my pocket. Strange. Where could it have gotten to? Sherlock, have you seen my mobile?"

"Oh goodie, a CASE! The case of the missing mobile! Thank you, John, my life is once again worth living!" Sherlock clapped his hands with glee, then looked down his nose at John. "Boring. Milk, John?"

"Fine. Fine, I'm going. Just look around will you?

As he heard the outer door close, Sherlock slipped John's mobile out of his trouser pocket, a slightly evil gleam in his eye, and started going through his text messages. "What have you been up to, John?"

Several minutes later, he was back to bored.

*Molly, thanks again for the biscuits! They were delish! JW

*John, glad you enjoyed them – not 2 many C chips? MH

*M - No they were perfect! :) - J

*J - did S like them? - M

*M - S not eating this week. Sorry! - J

_This exchange was frankly coma-inducing, not to mention John apparently got biscuits and didn't share._

*John – Hope you enjoyed our little chat the other day. I found it most stimulating and enlightening. We must do it again sometime soon. I'll send the car. - Mycroft

*Don't bother, Mycroft! You know I hate the drama. - John

*Indeed. - Mycroft

*BTW can you give me Anthea's # ? - John

*Dreaming, John, Dreaming. - Mycroft

*J – Who are you again? Mycroft asked me to text you – but I don't remember you at all. K. Bye – A

_Well, that was just tedious. Too bad John didn't take the money when he had a chance. And who is this Anthea?_

*How you doing, sis? Good I hope. Been thinking of you. xx – J

*I'm good, John. Behaving myself, which is what you really want to know. - H

*You know I worry. - J

*Don't worry so much! I met someone really great! We're going out tonight. She's really nice. You should come, bring Sherlock, we can double date. - H

*Stop already! I'm not gay, Harry! - J

*Sure, John, sure whatever you say...lol – H

_Hmm. Harry's drinking again. Best not to mention it to John._

*Where are u? - SH

*What are your thoughts on world peace? Don't really care, just thought you might like to be asked. - SH

*We're out of milk. - SH

*Pick up some? - SH

*Ok. Will do! - JW

*And some biscuits. The chocolate kind, not the oatmeal. - SH

_Well, now we know that John likes biscuits, and that he's not good at sharing._

*Janet, I had a great time last night. Sorry about S. Won't happen again. - John

*Right it won't. Goodbye, John. And don't text me again. - Janet

_Never liked her nose._

*Where are u? - SH

*Molly says Hi. - SH

*Tell Molly Hi from me! :) - JW

*Molly says Hi. Again. Please talk to her yourself. Is becoming increasingly annoying. - SH

_Ah, Molly. You could trust her to share biscuits._

*Susan, really enjoyed our date last night! Sorry about Sherlock. Won't happen again. Can I see you tonight? :) - John

*Sorry John – but I don't think so. - Susan

_Give it up , John!_

*Mycroft keeps texting me, see what he wants. - SH

*He wants you to call him. - JW

*Busy - SH

*Just call him, Sherlock! - JW

*Have u seen my pen? - SH

_Never did find that pen..._

*Do NOT bring that animal into the flat! - SH

*It's just a puppy, Sherlock! Come on... - JW

*Puppies are known to do unspeakable things on the floor. NO! - SH

*Please? Come on, Sherlock, he needs a home. He's homeless! - JW

*Please, he's really cute! - JW

**Dowloading image** *See how cute he is! - JW

*You could name him...:) - JW

*Sherlock? - JW

*Sorry, Harry, it's a no on the puppy. But thanks for thinking of me. - JW

_Thanks for nothing, Harry._

*Mary - glad we finally got together. Dinner next time? - John

*John – Sounds good. But leave S at home please? - Mary

*Mary- Sorry about that. I didn't invite him, he just followed me. Won't happen again. :) - John

The last one brought a genuine chuckle from Sherlock. _John should stop making promises he can't keep._

He closed the mobile at the sound of the door opening.

John found him lying on the sofa when he come through the door.

"Right. I'll make that tea."

"Found your mobile." Sherlock tossed it over to him.

"Great! Where was it?"

"Must have slipped out of your pocket while you were in the kitchen." He smiled slightly at John's confusion.

**A/N The update was due to some formatting issues. Thank you to those who reviewed!**


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